Today is the 20th of February. A monumental day for me. An anniversary and not necessarily a good one.
Today marks 7 years exactly, since my accident. An accident that has changed my life forever. An accident that took so much away from me, in a matter of seconds. 15 stairs and a very steep decline. Resulting in a shattered right foot. And a life shattered into pieces.
42 staples. 1 month in hospital. 6 months in a wheel chair, 10 months learning to walk again, a 15 centimeter blood clot in my calf, chronic depression, PTSD, a shattered career and now an acute meniscus tear, that requires surgery.
It was a pretty bumpy ride!!
But aside from all that, what nearly killed me, was my children having to go and live with my family. Because I was unable to look after them. They were 12 and 7 at the time. They were away from me, for 6 and 12 months, respectively. The grief, as a mother, was overwhelming and unbearable.
But again, I survived!
Today is a day I wish to celebrate, well at least acknowledge in some way. 7 years of chronic pain…..and I am still here. 7 years living with a permanent disability. And I am still here. An accident that could have very well, killed me instantly, or left me a quadriplegic, but didn’t. And I am still here. My mental health took a rather fast, downhill, spiraling road, but against all the odds, I am still here.
There are lots of positives and silver linings and these need to be celebrated!! I am blessed!! So very blessed!!
The friends I have in my life now, are like family. I have, 6 or so, friends that I am exceptionally close to, that I know would pick me up off the floor, from the foetal position, whether I was wearing clothes or not. And they know I would do the same for them.
Friends that I know I could call in the middle of the night, if I needed picking up from the police station. Or would most likely be sitting beside me, because we had been caught doing some kind of crazy Shit!!! Probably involving alcohol.
And they know who they are!
I am incredibly loved. 😁
My sister has always been my rock!! I have always known that. And whilst we still have our differences, she is the real reason I made it through the other side, following my accident. Even though I was pretty bent out of shape. She is the one person that will step up to the plate and bat for me, when it really counts. And she has gone into bat for me, a lot!! And she hits that curve ball, right out of the GOD DAMN ball park, every single time!! I am truly blessed to be her older sister!!
Another positive is the discovery of my true inner strength. I always knew I was a pretty strong person, mentally, because life has always thrown me some pretty hard curve balls.
You know those balls that get you in the nose, and knock you off your feet?
Even if it doesn’t look like it from the outside sometimes, I have an extraordinary ability to get back up. But I didn’t realize the extent of my inner strength until after my accident and the 7 years following it.
I also discovered faith, following my accident. And not of the religious kind either. I discovered an incredible belief in myself, that no matter what life throws at me, I will be ok. I have faith in myself, that at some point, I will be able to get back up and continue moving forward.
As of December the 16th last year, I have been living in country Victoria. Colac, in the South West of Victoria, between Warnambool and Geelong. An hour to The Great Ocean Road. The country life is something I have wanted for 44 years. It is so different to Melbourne. The air is clean, the people are different, the water is better, the noise in my head is much quieter. And that is exactly what I need!!
I wake up each morning feeling like the luckiest person in the world to live here. This lifestyle is giving me a true sense of peace. Something I have struggled to find in 44 years.
I also found true love 5 and a half years after my accident. I always thought I knew what that was, but boy was I wrong!! So very wrong!! And although it was short and fleeting, I will be forever grateful for the wonderful times we shared, the memories we made and the love we felt for each other. I learnt so much, about myself and what I want in life. I was lucky enough to find it, and some people never find that in an entire lifetime. I will treasure those memories for the rest of my life!!
Arron, if somehow this blog post finds its way to you…..Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, Thank you!!
And you are still a GIANT DICK!!! 😁
Some people will question why I wish to acknowledge this anniversary, but it is important to me. There are always silver linings, no matter how terrible the situation. Sometimes you just have to look really hard to find them.
I have never felt so blessed, grateful or truly loved, in my entire life.
And that alone is reason to celebrate.
And a good reason to eat the cake!!
Eat the FUCKING cake!!
Pass the bubble wrap!!
Much love, strength and peace,
#love #peace #strength #faith #blessed #gratitude #life